Growing up in Louisa – Nostalgia Anyone?
Weekly feature . . . by Mike Coburn
When I was a little twerk I didn’t waste my time reflecting on slight differences in words. In fact, some words were hardly more than sounds that would bounce away as something adults understood, but not me.
An example is the word nostalgia. Sounded like a cross between what I figured was a medical problem ‘neuralgia’ or an unknown dread mental problem occasioned in grownups. In any case I thought the big words were mostly about some mysterious pain. I’d hear adults talking on the street, or in stores, and it was common to hear those words and a myriad of other conditions. The meaning of those words are totally obscure since they are so archaic to not be used at all today. The reason for my not understanding was because I only half-listened. I just skipped over those big, strange, medical things. Life to me wasn’t about those then. Life was about me and whether I could go out to play. My wife tells me I still have that skill.
Misunderstanding, or dismissals of words wasn’t a family thing, for the Lord knows we had an Oxford’s unabridged dictionary. For millennials, that is a big book that has been mostly replaced by Google. We also had a set of Compton’s Encyclopedias. I would sometimes read these by the hour.
I have been doing this column now for several years and the focus of the column is really all about nostalgia. I personally don’t live in the past as much as in the concerns of daily life and planning for the future. Of course, I’ve known lots of folks who live in the past. One or two still dress the same as they did in high school or college, or have the same ‘hairdo’s.’ That’s okay for them, but looking back always takes a bit of effort for me. That’s why I see it as ironic that I ended up doing this column.
After moving from sweet Louisa, I rarely thought much about the past. I certainly remembered my many friends and the charm of the little town, but it has been a challenge to come up with ideas week after week. By being ‘forced’ to do so, I find myself almost always alert for reminders of former times or events. That has given me a new dimension and outlook. By reason of that thinking I have found that my life has actually broadened and my respect for friends of old has grown. I now see things that I didn’t even notice when it was happening. It’s kind of an Alzheimer’s in reverse. By pulling back those long-lost memories, interests are now somehow colored differently than they otherwise might be. So, it turns out that nostalgia isn’t a dirty word but it does have some medicinal effects. It is actually pharmaceutical, often bringing pleasure to the soul. I am beginning to see the motivations and complex interconnecting relationships I had overlooked for years.
It is fun to remember the good times and the laughs we enjoyed with each other as we grew up. Every laugh, every acquaintance, and every experience are the markers that we leave that tells people we were there. They are also a measure of time; certifications that promote respect and add to our resume’. That said, we must be on guard to insure that a weak or shaky past does not ruin the person we could be. We should learn from past mistakes, for it is sometimes the way we learn best. Many of us must put our hand on the hot stove to see if it will really hurt. The trick is that once learned, we should not need to learn that lesson again. We know that there are those that have to be taught afresh day after day and still don’t learn. From whatever blisters we suffer we build what will become our personal versions of success.
If the past was a fairyland of sparkling events then these surely must have had a positive effect in your life. Consider the joy and encouragement of friends and parents that led us to the higher ground. We are defined not only by our ‘family’ name, but by those very things that shaped us and caused us to mature. That is why I do this column, and take joy hearing from many of you. It affirms who I was, and therefore who I am. Each of us has made a difference in the lives of others, whether for good or bad. As a grandfather, guiding and loving is my goal.
I came to appreciate the diversity in our little town. I’m not just talking race, because I never knew that to be an issue. Rather, the people I met and came to know were different, but much the same. They were patriots, many fresh from the war, and they were almost all Christian. Some were doctors, some pharmacists, some in law enforcement, some storekeepers, some teachers, some janitors, and I’m sure many other things, but they were family. It was a joy to see many of them, intimidating to see others, but comforting to know they were there.
Each of these contributed in some way to my life. I would have missed something important if they were not there. Lessons learned and friendships sealed gave me the start I needed. I’m sure more than a few of these, and many others contributed to your life, as well. As youths we took for granted the folks that supported us. Especially if it was no more than a word of encouragement, or a pat on back. We didn’t even notice those, but it useful to remember even the smallest kindnesses that encouraged us and sent us on our ways. I’m sure they overlooked my flaws or even my temperament sometimes and they treated me better than perhaps I deserved. Most are represented by the empty chair today, but they are remembered.
I now know that nostalgia is not a dirty word and is not to be confused with pain. In fact, in quiet moments it can be a satisfying place of comfort. Who knows? Maybe I’ll see your face and smile in the glow of old times.
For readers to know: I am working on a series that will give little vignettes for people I remember. Some are to be folks I knew well, while others may be people I saw often, but really didn’t know. You are invited to send me names of people I may have known, or that you know that I knew. I’ll include them. Try to add a short story or remembrance and I’ll add that in, too.
A second series will be about places. I’m thinking Rips, Flat Top, Depot, Bargain Store, Wright Brothers, etc. Please send your suggestion and maybe a paragraph about your memories. Tell me if it’s okay to use your name, or to not. Either way, I’ll try to work it in. Thanks
