Two Truths and a Lie

So, let’s play a game.  I’m sure most everyone knows of the game Two Truths and a Lie.  The object of this game is simple.  You make two true statements and one false statement, and the other players must guess which one of the three is a lie.  Sounds simple enough, right? Here we go!

One, I was once bitten by a rabbit and had to have stitches in my index finger.  Two, I am an excellent cook.  Three, I have bipolar disorder.  Can you guess which is my lie?  Think you have it figured out? Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. 

Most people always say that my lie is that I was once bitten by a rabbit and had to get stitches.  That is true.  Sounds crazy, I know.  But it happened.  When I was a little girl, my family had two pet rabbits.  They weren’t the friendliest (as you know by now).  One day I wanted to pet them, so I stuck my index finger through the cage’s wired door (just like most people do).  I guess that was the wrong thing to do because sure enough one of those dang rabbits bit my finger. (Does that make you think of the Youtube video sensation “Charlie bit my finger”?  No?  Just me?)  I ended up needing stitches in my finger since the bite was so bad.  I still have the scar to this day (and a mild fear of rabbits).

That only leaves two more statements.  Were you wrong about my lie?  Still think you know my truths?  Am I an excellent cook?  I wish!  I can manage to keep my tiny humans alive.  I can cook chicken nuggets like nobody’s business.  But when it comes to grand meals; that is definitely my lie.  I have a Pinterest board full of recipes that I want to make.  Breakfasts, entrees, desserts…the list goes on and on.  How many of those have I actually made?  Maybe 3, tops. 

Are you keeping track and following along?  Still in the game?  By now you’ve obviously figured out my other truth.  I have bipolar disorder.  No seriously, I do!  This tends to shock people.  I always get the remarks, “…you don’t look like you’re bipolar” … “you seem fine” … “just be happy you’re not really sick” … and so on.  Let’s talk about this for a minute.

Bipolar disorder as defined in the dictionary is a mental condition marked my alternating periods of elation and depression.  The word bipolar itself means having or relating to two poles or extremities.  There are different variations to this disorder.  Some have more manic episodes of depression and anxiety and are barely able to get out of bed.  Some have brief, or even extended, periods of elation (a super-high if you will) and participate in risky behaviors.  And then there are those lucky ones who swing back and forth between the two extremes.  For me, I fluctuate between the two.  The length of time I spend in each end of the spectrum varies. 

Why am I openly admitting my truths to you?  Is it important that you know to be careful petting rabbits?  Maybe?  But I decided to share my own personal truths because it’s time that people start talking more about mental illness without feeling embarrassed or shame because they suffer from a mental disorder.  I have battled this condition for most of my life.  However, I am just now letting myself acknowledge that it’s okay and that I need to openly share my story, so others know they are not alone. 

Now back to some of those remarks I hear from people. 

What does someone who is bipolar look like anyway? 

Do they look a certain way? 

Are their eyes supposed to be twitching constantly? 

Seriously, I have never understood this.  People with mental disorders do not look any different from anyone else.  That is a lie!  “You seem fine.”  People who are bipolar (or suffer from other illnesses) are really good at faking it.  Or at least I am, or thought I was.  I didn’t want people to judge me, so I pretended like I was fine.  It’s like that episode on Friends…you know the one where Ross is freaking out in his high-pitched voice but saying “I’m fine, I’m totally fine!” No?  Well, Youtube it!  In all honesty, most of the time I am okay, but this disorder can take a toll on your life.  Or my favorite, “just be glad you’re not really sick”.  Truth, things could always be worse, and I try to count my blessings daily.  But the honest, brutal truth is that being bipolar or depressed is an illness.  I am suffering from a debilitating condition every day, just as many others are.  Some days are good.  I function like “normal” people do.  Other days I barely get out of the bed.  Then when the elation period hits, I feel super-charged and I can do anything.  How does this affect my daily life?  I struggle with everything!  Relationships with family and friends.  Raising my kids.  Maintaining a job. 

I hope that by sharing my truths that other people will no longer feel like they are alone. I hope that they know it’s okay to have a mental illness.  I hope that they feel like they can be open about what they are going through. 

No one should have to suffer from any illness or disorder alone.